


''I am Home''

by Grimweaver



Series: Memoirs of a Listener [6]
Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Genre: Assassins, F/M, Family, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Family Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 12:04:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15533838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grimweaver/pseuds/Grimweaver
Summary: Malkhai returns to the Cheydinhal Sanctuary, just in time for the next Gathering. Though she is disturbed by some of the stories that are told about Lucien, it is still an evening of great happiness and fast bonding between herself and the rest of the Family Members. She realizes that, for the first time in years, she is at last among those she can call "family", in a place she can call "Home".





	''I am Home''

 

           **I remained in the Imperial City for the rest of the week before returning to Cheydinhal.** I made plans to stay just long enough to take care of some business in the market, but getting chatty with Jensine at _"Good as New"_ lead up to my involvement with the _Society of Concerned Merchants_ and their little dilemma. Thankfully, the matter was resolved by the afternoon of Loredas, giving me enough time to rest up through the night and leave Sundas morning, arriving at the Sanctuary just hours before the Family Gathering.

            At the time of my return, Vicente was the only one there- he was in his quarters, sitting at his table, so immersed in the book he was reading it took him a few seconds to realize I was there.

            In this way, he reminded me of my father. He was as much a bookworm as he was a clockwork aficionado and powerful mage. He'd spend hours in his study at night, curled up by the fireplace in a thick quilt, so deep in the world of his book that he wouldn't notice if a bull mammoth went tearing through the room. You knew he was getting into the good parts of the book when he'd lean in close and twist strands of his white hair around his finger (a habit I picked up). That's when I could ask him for things like extra chocolate and staying up a couple hours past bedtime- he'd say 'uh-huh' to just about anything, hearing but not really listening.

 

            "Oh, Ms. Ale'Zandre!" Vicente said, finally looking up from his book. "How long have you been standing there?"

            "I just got here." I replied.

            "Ah. Hmm.. are you alright? You look a little glazed over."

            "I was... daydreaming a bit." I sighed. "My... my father loved to read books a lot, too... I was thinking about him just now..."

            "Yes, the legendary Champion of the Vestige always made time to indulge in fine literature in between adventures."

            "Oh! Did you know him??" I gasped.

            "Just about everyone does. He happened to be among the two dozen or so battle mages that accompanied us on that expedition I mentioned earlier."

 

            Vicente smiled and gently placed the book onto the table, then grabbed another one from a stack that looked very old and worn.

 

            “I made a log of all the names of the people involved right here in this journal."

 

            He held it up to show me a page with a list of names. Sure enough, among the names of Mages Guild hires, there was my father's name:

 

            _Nahzadir Hrunaam Ale'Zandre._

 

            "A frighteningly powerful, yet loyal and all-around fine fellow, he was."

            "Yes... _he was_."

           

            Staring down at the name, I was starting to get choked up. I thought about the day we watched him wave goodbye from the wagon as it wheeled him away from us... then waiting with hearts bursting with hope and nettled longing for his safe return on the day he was expected to return... then the weeks of watching for him by the large windows that overlooked the road to Cyrodiil, sinking into great sorrow and despair over the unknown fate that he had succumbed to.

            I pushed the tears back down before I spoke again.

            "Strange, isn't it?" I began, with a lump in my throat. "You live hundreds of years, survive countless battles, make a name for yourself, earn several titles and honors.... then you go out like a puff of smoke in a stiff breeze- not like the hero that you are, surrounded by grand and glorious action... you just vanish.... poof! Like you had never existed at all… and leave behind four children, defenseless against…"

            I tore myself away from the page.

            "Ugh... nevermind... I'd rather not go much deeper into all of that," I said, shaking my head, "my head's already a frizzled mess right now..."

            "Of that I have no doubt..." He closed the journal and placed it back on the stack. "There's been a lot for you to absorb these last few days- a new life, a new family, and a lot of exciting work! Let's move right back to the reason you've returned to me, shall we?"

 

            Vicente walked over to his desk and fetched a coinpurse and a wooden jewelry box from inside, then handed it to me with a bow and a tender smile.

 

            "Congratulations." He said. "You've successfully completed your first contract- the pirate and his crew have been eliminated, and Sithis has been appeased. Excellent work, dear Sister. Here is your reward: 150 Septims and the "Black Band"- an enchanted ring that will protect you and cloak you in shadow.”

            "Thank you, Mr. Valtieri." I said with a bow. "It was my pleasure, I assure you. The old wretch had it coming. They all did."

            "Indeed. No one will mourn their passing." Vicente stood up and returned all his books to the inside of his desk. "I'm sure everyone would all love to hear the full story of their demise later tonight-- don't leave out any of the gory details!"

            "Sure thing." I said. "I suppose you'll all be setting everything up for dinner soon. If you need a hand in anything, I'd be more than happy to help."

            "We will all gladly accept your offer, Ms. Ale'Zandre. Thank you." He said, before we both left for the Living Quarters.

 

~*~

           

            The Gathering began much the way it did last Sundas. This time, I was wide awake from the start and there alongside Ocheeva and Vicente to greet each Family Member as they entered the Living Quarters, then helped them set up the table for dinner. One by one, a dish of fresh-baked deliciousness added a rich new aroma to the room. Soon the whole Sanctuary smelt of sugar claws, tomato borscht, pumpkin corn fritters, stuffed capon, shepherd's pie, turkey with garlic-free stuffing, and grape-glazed bantam guar- enough to make your whole insides drool.

 

            People started sharing stories of their latest contracts as we all went to work- when it was my turn, I told them about the Captain Tussaud business, as well as the story of Thoronir the dolt merchant and his dealings with Agarmir.

 

            "What an idiot!" I said, after finishing the story. "He trades with a shifty character that sold items for a fraction of their worth, in the middle of the night, in the back alleys- it takes a special kind of fool to not see how obvious it was that he was not acquiring the wares legally! But it all worked out in the end- all the merchants are happy and getting along, and that despicable grave robber is dead!"

            "Fascinating story!" Said Antoinetta.

 

            "It's always a great story when someone dies at the end!" Teinaava laughed, squishing a tomato over his heart and sticking his tongue out.

            "Teinaava!" Ocheeva barked, though she couldn't help laughing with the rest of us. "You should keep yourself presentable for our Speaker! Go change your shirt, he'll be here any minute!"

 

            While everyone else was busy with the finishing touches, I went over to my bed to retrieve a big surprise that I had kept underneath.

 

            "What is that?" Telaendril asked.

            "This is _my_ contribution to the little potluck thing!" I answered proudly, then pulled the burlap cloth away to reveal an enormous keg.

 

            Everyone closed in and gasped. Vicente especially was absolutely floored- he loved wine as much as Sheogorath loves cheese. He knew right away its great value upon reading the faded print on the side.

 

            "White Creek Brewing Company, Caramel Truffle, 3E 200! That's one of the rarest wines in the world!" He exclaimed.

            "Didn't they go out of business 30 years ago?" Teinaava asked.

            "Yeah." I answered. "Such a shame how it happened, really. A wandering giant got into a skooma stash buried in the woods nearby and went ballistic- plowed right through the vineyard and reduced all the structures to splinters, then ate the people inside."

            "Malkhai, how on Nirn did you acquire this??" Vicente asked.

            "I found it on the ship while I was cleaning it out. _That Tussaud be quite the salty Seadog_ , but he had really good taste. _Now, drink up me hearties!"_

 

            Everyone was reluctant at first. Even Gogron hesitated.

 

            "It should be alright." Vicente assured. "As long as we're careful, anyway. Are you comfortable with this, Ocheeva?"

            Ocheeva shifted nervously before she answered. "Like you said, as long as we're careful."

 

            After we were given the go ahead, we all lined up to help ourselves to the keg.

 

            Vicente and Ocheeva were right to be concerned- Skyrim is famous for crafting the strongest alcoholic beverages in all of Nirn, and 200 years would certainly enhance its potency. Also, it's a kind of wine that doesn't hit you until about 10 minutes after drinking it.

 

           

            Just then, another person entered the Living Quarters. The black robe was the only thing I saw at first, and instantly I had the shakes and tingles from head to toe.

           

            _Lucien's here!_ I cried out inside. _Ah- But I need to steady myself! I need to remember that he's a Speaker. Greet him like a Speaker, not an old friend. Be professional! Be professional!_

 

            I took in a deep breath, straightened up, and turned around with as much ease as I could manage.

 

            But sadly, it was not Lucien- it was another member of the Dark Brotherhood that I hadn't seen before- a slim dunmer with long black hair and a well-trimmed beard.

 

            _"Greetings, everyone!"_ He called out over the light commotion, in a deep and mystical voice, then waited for all heads to turn and mouths to shut tight before speaking again. "I regret to inform you that the Speaker is unable to attend this night's Gathering. But as always, he will try to come back next Sundas if his duties do not prevent him from doing so, as they have this evening."

 

            The internal dance that I was doing came to an abrupt halt and my spirit sank a little, but I smiled nonetheless and stood ready to formally greet him. I hadn't been a member of the Dark Brotherhood long enough to know much, but I had already gathered that anyone dressed in a long black robe was a person of great importance, so I didn't dare make him feel less important than the Speaker.

 

            "And as always, you are welcome to join us at the table." Ocheeva replied. "You rush to and fro all day and night, you really should rest up and help yourself to some good food before you leave."

            "Thank you, but I cannot. I have only enough time for the pleasure of meeting the initiate he's been talking about nonstop." He walked over to me and bowed low, with a wide smile on his face. "Ms. Malkhai Ale'Zandre- it is nice to finally see the face attached to the name. My name is Levik Mathardys, Lucien's personal courier and general assistant."

            "Nice to meet you." I replied, returning the bow and smile. "Must be great working directly under someone like Lucien."

            "To be honest, he can be a bit of a slave-driver at times, but I thoroughly enjoy working with him."

 

            "Levik, please sit with us!" Vicente pleaded. "You have that look about you, like you haven't eaten in days!"

            "I have to return soon, I'm afraid... but if I may, I would like to grab something for the road."

            "By all means! And take as much as you need, there is plenty of food!"

 

            We put a care package together for Levik- there was enough food and other supplies for a three-days travel.

 

            "I thank you all. It was nice to see you again, and to meet you Ms. Ale'Zandre. Hopefully, the next time I pay you all a visit, it will not be because I have to be the bearer of disappointing news."

            " _You are always welcome_." Vicente purred. "Dread Father be with you and keep you safe on the road. Give Lucien our warmest regards."

 

            "And with you." Levik replied, then took another low bow before leaving.

 

 

            There was a short, quiet pause before the room stirred with chatter and activity again, as everyone began to take their seats at the table.

 

 _The drinks should be loosening them up a bit by now_ , I thought. _I think now’s the time to start asking some questions._

 

            "It is too bad that Lucien won't be joining us... but hey–!" I said, then walked back over to join them in a lively pace, rubbing my hands together, “—It means I get to hear some very funny and embarrassing stories about him from all of you, ha-ha! Who'll start first??"

 

            They all looked at each other, then appeared to be thinking hard of a good story.

 

            "Not embarrassing in the least, but..." Antoinetta started. "At twelve years old, I was forced to live on the streets and beg for a living. The winter that came to Cyrodiil that year almost stole the life out of me. One evening, while I lay in a gutter without even enough strength to cry, I saw a black figure approach. He gently picked me up, took me into his home, and brought me back to full health. He promised me that I was never going to be cold or hungry ever again. For the first time in six years, I knew the warmth of a father's love. Two years later, when I was old enough, he invited me to join the Dark Brotherhood. He's done more for me than I ever thought possible in this world. I owe him everything."

 

            I remembered that Lucien had told me about being a surrogate father to her and the twins, but he didn't share this little tale with me. I was overwhelmed with warm fuzzies, almost speechless.

            "Goodness." I said. "So... he wasn't there because you murdered someone? He just happened to be walking by?"

            "Well... yes and no. I did kill one of the guards to escape... but a Listener did not send him out to visit me. He made a decision on his own, without any influence, to save me and raise me as his daughter." Antoinetta was tearing up. " _He's...s-such... a g-good man_."

 

            Ocheeva leaned sideways and embraced Antoinetta- the young breton sobbed into her shoulder. It was a sign that I was right about the full effects of the wine kicking in.

           

            "He most certainly is." Telaendril said. "Though my first encounter with him was not so friendly. He was ordered by the Black Hand to kill me! But, for some reason, he decided to give me a chance to convince him that it was a better idea to spare my life. You see, it was my father that performed the Black Sacrament, only because I 'embarrassed him and the family name' by making my own choices in life that he didn't approve of. Lucien decided to let me live, but on the condition that my father would take my place in the Void. He gave me the bow, which I still use today, and told me to go revel in the slow and agonizing death of that sorry son of a bitch. Then, the evening after I killed my father, he offered me a place within the Dark Brotherhood. I'd never been happier since I joined. I understand that there aren't many assassins within the guild that would be so reluctant to kill a target. He's something very different. Something that is beyond what words can describe."

 

            "While that is true and all, don't get too relaxed around him." Vicente cautioned. "There is a beast within him, always waiting for an opportunity to lash out and destroy. You just give him one good reason, like breaking any of the Five Tenets, and the sweet, fatherly, quiet gentleman is gone."

 

            "Right!" Gogron chimed in. "I saw Lucien deal with an insubordinate Brother once. Took me weeks to get the blood off my boots."

            "Oh?" I asked.

            "Yeah!" He bit a large chunk out of a turkey leg, then continued talking while he went to work on it. "It was'bout...hmmm... four years ago, I think... yeah... because it was just after the thing with the mime, before the Black Marsh group contract... or was it after...?"

            "Just tell the story, Gogron!" Teinaava snapped.

            "Y-y-yeah... ok... so... we get this meathead from Windhelm, right... a real snide, inconsiderate, loud-mouth, self-important egomaniac that thought himself superior to everyone that wasn't a nord. He'd go'round harassing colleagues'n talkin' down to'em, taking more than his share from the stores, never cleaning up after himself, and even tried to set us up against each other just for kicks... just a real piece of work. Then one day, Lucien showed up at the Sanctuary- he and I were chat'n away about something in the Main Hall. Then we heard shouting from inside the Training Room- 'Meathead' started complaining to Ocheeva about not getting the bonus that he 'deserved'. He called her a... oh... I can't say it... I'll just say it's something that's used by slavers..."

            "Marsh-mudder." Ocheeva hissed. "It was his very last word."

            "Yea-hahahaa! Now, Meathead was probably about a quarter of a foot taller and twice as muscular, but Lucien took him down like he was nothing but a gimpy little mudcrab, painting the entire room with his blood and entrails. I was in so much awe and shock, watching the whole show from the doorway, that I hardly noticed that I was covered head to toe in Meathead's blood, until it was all over and Lucien ordered me to take care of his body. I uh... had to get a shovel and a large bucket."

           

            For a moment I had lost my appetite for the remaining guar on my plate, but had an inclination chug the rest of the wine.

 

            "It's a healthy habit to keep in mind, at all times, that he is just as dangerous and unpredictable as he is mysterious." Vicente said.

            “Mysterious, indeed!"Said Antoinetta. "Some of us have known him for over ten years, yet after all that time we don't know anything more about him than we did the day we met him. Sometimes he shares his contract stories, as well as other deeds and accomplishments within the Dark Brotherhood, but nothing more than that. Everything you might hear about his personal life is just rumor and speculation."

            "No one knows anything about his life outside the Dark Brotherhood." Telaendril said. "I asked him once about his parents- all he told me was that they were dead, and said it in such an emotionless, matter-of-fact way... so it's my theory that he had killed them, and that is how he became a member of the Dark Brotherhood."

            "We all agree that it is a good theory. He's never denied the rumor." Said M’raaj-Dar.

            "But he's never confirmed it." Said Ocheeva. "In fact, he never talks about any of the rumors. I don't know if it's a general rule that a Speaker cannot reveal anything about their past and personal life, or if it’s his own choice to remain a mystery. But It hardly matters. It is not our business to know anything but this: that, as long as we follow the Tenets, we have nothing to fear from our Speaker."

            "Oh, and he has absolute zero tolerance for skooma- he'll have your head if you've wittingly involved yourself in the trade in any way." Antoinetta added.

 

            For reasons that were obvious to me.

 

            I took secret pride in knowing that I was the only one among them that had the most to tell about him, yet at the same time felt ill from some of the additional information that I learned that evening. It did not make me afraid of Lucien, but I was unsettled nonetheless by the knowledge of his explosive nature. I made a note to myself to inquire him about it, the next time we had a chance for a casual conversation.

 

            "No worries there." I replied. "I have my own seething hatred for that stuff and what it does to people." I assured.

            "That's good to hear." Said Teinaava. "Hey, that reminds me of another story--"

 

~*~

 

            The Sundas Gathering lasted for at least two hours, filling the Sanctuary with thunderous laughter as the conversation wandered into lighter and more amusing stories. It didn't take long for me to recover from the uneasy feeling that had wormed its way into my heart.

 

            By the end of the evening, during what I like to call 'the long goodbye' (Trying to take leave, but always having 'one more thing' to talk about before departing), I had come to the realization that these people were no longer just fellow assassins. They are not called 'Family' just because it is the traditional term for members of our guild. They were Family in the truest sense, and therefore the Sanctuary was no longer just a place of dwelling.

 

            _This is home._ I thought, as I settled into the thick covers of my bed, falling fast into a deep sleep. _At last... I am home._


End file.
